done

this is such a strange feeling. a mixture of relief and sadness as i wave my last farewell at my undergraduate life. don't get me wrong - i am beyond overjoyed that this whole thing is over. and yet i really believe that i take more joy in the process rather than in the end result. practicing those pieces was grueling and hard to do 90% of the time, but it brought me joy as well because i loved the mathematics of it - figuring out solutions to my unending list of problems. after it was all over - it all felt so trivial - like i had worked up to this for nothing. i know that doesn't make sense but it felt like such a small unimportant event - that i had allowed myself to get so worked up over that i was physically sick.

i think i did well. the bach was great, the debussy was great, the rachmaninoff was okay, the first movement of beethoven was absolutely horrible, the second movement was much better and the third movement was fine. i give myself a B+ for the entire evening.

to those of you who came tonight - i doubt you will read this - but from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

now it's time to use what i've learned to change the world.

off i go.