as i try to burgeon

a lot has happened recently that has caused me to sit down and reflect. it's as though my world has been picked up by unseen hands and rattled like an unopened christmas present. (That's a terrible analogy, but i just woke up and it's the only one that comes to mind). I feel like something is pushing me to the ground and silencing me, wanting me to understand my own weaknesses, my own insecurities, my own ... everything. I can't explain it.

i'm not sure what to do first. my mind is tangled, like that huge duffel bag of yarn over by the couch. i can see multiple threads all at once but i can't single any of them out, because they are all interdependent. it's a mess, really. sincere chaos.

in 19 days I will graduate from college. I am no longer scared or nervous. I am excited. Most of all, I am excited for change and surprisingly anxious for the unknown. it has become increasingly difficult to live in the here and now and put all of myself into what i am presently doing because my thoughts are so involved in the not-so-distant future.

my mind and heart are teeming with ideas and thoughts right now so i need to go attend to them. i bid you farewell :)