mental blemishes

yesterday evening i had a lot of time on my hands. i should have accomplished a lot, academically, but i failed to do so. i tried practicing piano but i just didn't have the willpower. i became weary of practicing after only 30 minutes on the bench. so i left. after burning a panera french toast bagel, and successfully browning the edges of a panera plain, i sat on my bed with a bottle of vitamin water at my side and turned on the telly.

seeing as we only have 13.5 channels, i settled for The Incredibles and began to dine. my meal was small and took up little time, so a couple scenes later, i exited the realm of televised entertainment and tried to think of something more useful to do with my time.

so i read. and read. i read from approximately 9:00pm until 1:45am, when my roommate finally came home. i read excerpts from The Best Women's Travel Writing and also from Music, The Brain and Ecstasy. both are fabulous. the latter had me mesmerized, however. i find it so fascinating to pick apart the complexity of music and how it applies to so many different aspects of life. i read mostly about the most famous composers (mozart, beethoven, liszt, rachmaninoff, bach, etc. you get the idea) and how they learned or didn't learn (at least not in a formal setting) the methodology of music.

i'm in a state of decision-making, and it doesn't just apply to the whole "what are you going to do after you graduate?" question. this applies to e v e r y t h i n g. i think i might soon be ready.

one of my favorite composers.


finally, the light has blinked on.


i can't wait to pick out a tree.