dream

I had the most bizarre dream last night. I don't remember everything in detail or chronological order, but i will do my best.

The most vivid part of the dream was a scene where I'm in my room, and i decide to cut my right foot off, at the ankle, with a knife, just because. It didn't hurt, but then i found myself in somewhat of a dilemma afterwards. namely, I couldn't walk. So i tried to attach my foot back onto my leg, using the excess blood (which had the consistency of strawberry jam) as a cohesive device. i contemplated using superglue, but i thought it best not to use something unnatural (heaven forbid) to fix the problem. i end up walking around town with a half-attached right foot, constantly worried it was just going to fall off and my secret would be out. (it is quite embarrassing, truth be told, to have other people know that you severed your leg with a knife in your room just for the fun of it. who knows what they might think of you. )

so apparently a couple months before, i had applied, and been accepted, to work at Starbucks. I had received my schedule a long time ago, but, for the love, could not locate it the morning i was to start working. I vaguely remembered something about 12 or noon so i decided I probably started at 1230 (wonderful logic). so i mosied around my house until about noon and then i got dressed and went to starbucks. when I got there, they put me right on the register without training me, and there were about..15 people working at the same time. And probably 2 customers. Then, after a few hours of that I was able to find the schedule and found out I was supposed to have worked at 1030 am. Woops-a-daisy!

So all the Starbucks employees decide to take a break. at the same time. (apparently no one in our town drank coffee). Somewhere during that time I found out that someone had died, and everyone knew who he was but me. Even my brother knew who he was. His name was Bart or Mark or something like that and everyone kept talking about how they were going to go to his funeral, and I kept asking, "Who is Bart?" And they would spin around and look at me as if I had just sworn at them in Dutch. "How could you not know who he is?" They would all ask me. And I would shrug my shoulders and walk away. Supposedly he was a famous rock star from some famous band that obviously was not very famous if i didn't know who he was.

After our group-break was over, we went back into the kitchen area (kind of hard to explain) where everyone was putting on their aprons. Since I was new, I didn't know where the Green Apron Bin was located, so someone else had to go find one for me. Meanwhile, I'm standing there in the middle of the room and suddenly I feel very uncomfortable, and then I realize that somewhere, during break, my shorts had fallen off (yes, while i was walking with a severed leg). Thankfully no one else seemed to notice, so they gave me my green apron, which had a huge embroidered flower on the left side, and tried my best to cover up. My mom and aunt came to visit and I told them about my foot and missing shorts. and my mom and aunt, of course, reacted in surprise and confusion. "Why would you cut off your foot?" They asked. I, again, shrugged and said I had no idea. It just sounded like fun.

I walked back into the kitchen area to find the schedule again in order to find out what time i was to work the next day. I was a bit confused when I saw, next to my name, the words, "Failed." I skipped to the next page and there, in paragraph form, were reasons why I was being fired. And on my first day. The reasons were ridiculous, too. Such as: 1. Doesn't wear enough lip gloss. Susan (not me) re-applies her lip gloss every hour! 2. Doesn't have the right personality and doesn't look right. 3. Was late to work on her first day (that was the only one that actually made sense). I flipped to the front page of what I had thought was the schedule, but come to find out was a booklet basically telling me I was fired. And then my boss came out, who was blonde, and she told me everything that I had just read in the booklet. And then a friend of mine stormed up and stood next to me, I guess trying to scare my boss into re-hiring me. Who knows.

And then I woke up.

I didn't realize I had remembered so much. Anyways, it was a bizarre dream. There was more, but it's to foggy in my mind to try and describe it. I like sleeping.