trees

i like trees. i feel sorry for them when it's windy and rainy. they seem so sad and helpless, swaying back in forth in such a violent manner. i feel sorry for cars and buildings as well when the weather is rough. i feel sorry for a lot of inanimate objects. for some reason my brain thinks they actually have personalities. this is the effect synesthesia has on me. (if you're not familiar with synesthesia, check it out.) i don't have an extreme case, but i have a case, none the less.

i feel scattered.

i like debussy today. i don't like beethoven and i am indifferent towards rachmaninoff. i'm irritated with bach.
i spent three and a half hours today practicing and memorizing and, unlike most of my practice sessions, it proved to be very fruitful indeed. i have one page left to memorize, out of all 58 pages, and i am feeling pretty confident.
tonight i tried making a garden burger again and it somehow didn't have that same zing that it had yesterday. eating meals has become much more fun now that i kind of know how to cook real food. i still don't know how to prepare chicken or any kind of meat, for that matter, but i'm getting there. so, for now, it's frozen green beans, garden burgers, canned soup and garlic bread. and cran-grape juice in a wine glass (makes me feel sophisticated).

last night i fell asleep to the sound of heavy raindrops, beating down on most of southern california. why do we love the rain? i still haven't figured it out. something about it is so inspiring. i think i want to move to seattle.

p.s. i'm trying to make myself like trail mix, but it's really hard.