not now but soon

rarely do i feel so attached to a dream. i feel as though i am at the water's edge and their is a boat tied to the dock with my name on it. i could stare at the boat, dream about the boat, tell other people about the boat, journal about the boat. but it's not quite a story worth telling unless i let it take me somewhere. typical use of boat imagery usually refers to joining or rebelling against a group, a stereotype, etc. but i am not referring to such things. my boat is my dream. i've been staring at it since i was a kid and have waited for it to take me somewhere. but i've never truly stepped inside and freed it from the dock. the time is now. it really is. or...well...the time is actually march 2nd. the day after my senior recital when i will finally be set free (academically). I can't wait for the boat to materialize. sorry for the cryptic character of this post, but i almost feel as though what i'm speaking about is sacred. granted, it's not, but it's so real and so moving that i don't want to damage it with my limited vocabulary. the past few days i've been inspired, discouraged, enlightened, frustrated, stressed, weak and strong. it's almost as though i'm . . . growing up. the most encouraging thing i've read in a while came to me today in a Chinese proverb. it read:

even monkeys fall from trees.